Author: Vincci Tsui, RD
Repost from Food For Thought 2020
When we think of the concept of weight stigma, we often think of its overt forms, like insults and name-calling. However, weight stigma goes far beyond fat shaming to include such everyday discriminations as passing assumptions about a person’s lifestyle habits based on their size, providing a lack of suitable chairs or seating at restaurants, theaters, and other public venues, producing limited (or nonexistent) medical equipment to accommodate larger bodies, and offering significantly fewer options for plus-size clothing.
Weight stigma has been shown to be an independent risk factor for poor health outcomes, regardless of a person’s actual weight. (Tomiyama et al., 2018) In fact, simply the belief that you are “overweight” can increase health risks. (Daly et al., 2017) This internalized weight stigma occurs when the negative stereotypes about larger bodies, which we learn implicitly from the diet culture around us, become part of our own beliefs about our bodies and those around us.
While it may be difficult to limit our exposure to external sources of weight stigma, curating our social media feeds, being choosy about the media we consume, and setting healthy boundaries with friends and loved ones are good places to start. We have much greater control when it comes to managing our own internalized weight stigma though, making it a critical step toward better health.
Here is how you can use the acronym “AIR” to begin your journey to claiming a positive relationship with your body:
Step 1: Awareness
Start by noticing negative thoughts that come up for you regarding your body or your size. Notice how it feels in your body when you are having those thoughts. Try your best not to react to these thoughts, emotions, and sensations right away and instead, focus solely on awareness of them.
Step 2: Inquiry
Approach these thoughts with curiosity, not judgment. You may choose to challenge yourself in the moment, or you might prefer to explore them later on when you are less emotionally charged. Some of the questions you might want to ask yourself include:
- How is this thought serving me in the moment?
- How does this thought make me feel, physically and emotionally?
- How do I typically respond to this thought?
- Is this thought helpful, unhelpful, or neutral?
Remember that you are not “wrong” for having these thoughts. They are a product of the culture that we live in, which surrounds us with weight-stigmatizing messages.
Step 3: Response
Responding to one’s own thoughts takes practice, especially if the thoughts are unpleasant or downright hurtful. Respecting your own needs and boundaries might involve choosing not to respond to a particular thought but, instead, to recognize it as one of many fleeting and unhelpful thoughts you ignore every day. You might even say something like, “Thank you brain, but that’s not very helpful right now. I’m holding out for something better.” Visualization exercises, like imagining thoughts as leaves floating down the river, cars passing down the street, or clouds drifting across the sky, can also be helpful in disregarding unhelpful and judgmental thoughts.
With practice, however, you can develop compassionate responses for your unhelpful, unpleasant, or judgmental thoughts. For example, if your thought is, “I wish I wasn’t so fat,” you might respond by saying to yourself, “It is tough navigating this world as a fat person, but that’s not my body’s fault.” If you think to yourself, “I hate the way my thighs rub against each other,” you might respond by reminding yourself, “I am glad to have strong legs that carry me through the world.”
Often the thoughts that we have can be repetitive and predictable. With time and effort, you can develop some helpful “go-to” responses for your negative thoughts to help you work toward accepting your body.
Loving-Kindness (Mettā) Meditation
Adapted from The Mindful Eating Workbook: Simple Mindfulness Practices to Nurture a Healthy Relationship with Food (Althea Press, 2018).
Difficult emotions can arise along the path toward body acceptance: anger towards a culture that upholds a narrow range of body types while marginalizing the rest at every turn; grief for all of the time, money, and effort you put into diets that didn’t work, or for a body ideal that you could never achieve; shame for having held onto diet culture beliefs for so long, or perhaps for perpetuating them yourself.
Mettā, a Pali word that translates to loving-kindness, or benevolence, is a core belief in Buddhism. This meditation, which culminates in extending loving-kindness to all beings, helps us to embody the belief that everyone is deserving of love, respect, and dignity. This can be a helpful meditation when you notice that you are directing negative judgments toward yourself, your body, or towards others. The goal is not to erase or invalidate those emotions, but rather, to add a layer of loving-kindness to your thoughts and to notice any shifts in your thoughts or emotions as a result.
Before starting, it may be helpful to choose or formulate the loving-kindness phrase(s) that you will use. You may choose some of the following phrases, use all of them as reflected in the following passage, or formulate a wish of your own choosing:
May I be at peace with food and in my body.
May I be safe from diet culture.
May I be loved exactly as I am.
Settle comfortably in your seat. If you are sitting in a chair, place your feet flat on the ground. If you feel comfortable doing so, close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths, feeling the rise of your chest with each inhale, and the fall with each exhale. Continue to do so until you feel relaxed and grounded.
Begin by directing your attention to yourself. Breathe gently, and with each breath, recite the phrase or phrases you have chosen, either aloud or inwardly to yourself: May I be at peace with food and in my body. May I be safe from diet culture. May I be loved exactly as I am. Hold a hand to your heart as you recite these phrases, if you wish. Repeat for a few rounds of breath.
Now, picture with your mind’s eye someone you love. It may be a family member, a partner, a close friend, or someone who has supported you on your path to self-acceptance. Direct your loving-kindness to your loved one, imagining they are receiving your wishes with each exhale. Again, you may choose to recite the phrases aloud or in your head: May you be at peace with food and in your body. May you be safe from diet culture. May you be loved exactly as you are. Continue for a few rounds of breath, and repeat with any other loved ones as desired.
Think of someone in your life who brings up uncomfortable emotions, or who you may be in conflict with. Perhaps they played a role in your negative relationship with food and your body. Direct your loving-kindness to this person: May you be at peace with food and in your body. May you be safe from diet culture. May you be loved exactly as you are. Continue for a few rounds of breath, and repeat with any other people as desired.
Finally, think of all of the beings on this Earth, big and small. Send your wishes to all beings: May you be at peace with food and in your body. May you be safe from diet culture. May you be loved exactly as you are. Continue for as long as you need. When you’re ready, end your meditation by shifting your attention back to your breath, and slowly blink your eyes open.
Bio:
Vincci Tsui is a dietitian, certified intuitive eating counselor, and yoga teacher based in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. She is the author of The Mindful Eating Workbook (Althea Press, 2018).
References
Tomiyama, A. J., Carr, D., Granberg, E. M., Major, B., Robinson, E., Sutin, A. R., & Brewis, A. (2018). How and why weight stigma drives the obesity 'epidemic' and harms health. BMC medicine, 16(1), 123. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12916-018-1116-5
Daly, M., Robinson, E., & Sutin, A. R. (2017). Does Knowing Hurt? Perceiving Oneself as Overweight Predicts Future Physical Health and Well-Being. Psychological science, 28(7), 872–881. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797617696311